For years (almost thirty, in fact), when confronted with the horrifying question “So–Do you play any musical instruments?” (A question only inferior in squeamish-making-ness to “So, I know I’ve been your best friend for fifteen years and you’re not gay or anything, but I really like you–I love you actually Fred…so would you like to go on a date with me and see what happens?”) I flinched, my face did a weird spasm and I spat, “No–No–I don’t–I can’t”. And (more…)